While therapy is taking on new and exciting forms, animals have long been used for supportive and therapeutic purposes. People experience something different with animals, they feel they can be themselves and engage in a relationship without judgement.
It’s harder to surrender like this in their human relationships.
While horses certainly offer this, they also offer something a little different. Their feedback is not always the unconditional love one receives from a dog, for example. Horse’s communication is rooted in self-care. There are boundaries, social dynamics, hierarchies and an honesty that not everyone is ready for. The horse experience can change your life, if you allow it.
Because horses are prey animals, their priority is safety. They are experts in mindfulness and self-care, especially because their survival depends on it. Being present in the moment is what they do best. Does any of this sound familiar?
Mindfulness, self-awareness and self-care are repeatedly taught in therapeutic settings. We are constantly inundated with new ways to be mindful, connect with the moment and take control of our lives wherever we can. But it is still such a challenge for most of us, even healthcare practitioners.
This is where horses come in… as some of the greatest helpers and role models.
In fact, being present is only the beginning of their expertise…. how they use this skill to communicate their own needs is where the magic happens. If we are open to learning from horses, we can use their feedback to make important changes
in our lives. When equine-assisted therapy is underway, the client has an experience of themselves and of another.
In this case, the “other” can represent anyone. The horse becomes a metaphor, a safe place to work through real-life issues. The client enters the space as themselves, whether that is vulnerable, guarded, angry, disconnected, calm or however they may be feeling. The horse is always true to its own nature and will read the unspoken language of this new relationship—assessing whether or not it is safe. How each horse responds to perceived safety, however, is unique.
As equine-assisted facilitators, we often hear ourselves saying, “you have to experience it to understand it.” So, I will share a true story of a client and horse experience:
A woman came to us looking for help. She was smart, quiet, kind, very passive—and was tired of feeling powerless in her life and relationships. She shared several examples of how people underestimated her and her inability to take care of herself in these moments. She felt paralyzed to be assertive and create much needed boundaries.
My partner and I matched her with two of our bigger horses. One was a high spirited, playful, curious and pushy fellow. The other was a quieter version… calmer, though a strong presence and hard to move at times. Over the weeks, the client focused on building a rapport with her equine facilitators, exploring her own place in this new herd. She reported feeling like “the low man on the totem pole,” and that they did not respect her.
As the metaphors grew to parallel her experience outside of the sessions, we began setting her up with boundary exercises. She expressed readiness to be respected in these relationships. She was given exercises to move the horses without touching them and create spaces they were not allowed to enter without her permission. These exercises required a certain physical and emotional assertiveness, and sometimes she struggled, becoming frustrated and defeated as the horses ignored her attempts. Though her behavior changed, getting louder and bigger, she still felt powerless and carried this into each session.
Usually, we do not get involved, as it’s important for clients to experience the process from start to finish, including working through these moments of frustration and defeat. At times, we offer up our observations when clients continue to try the same techniques. Finally, she had a breakthrough. She found a prop that she used as a boundary. It helped her communicate and maintain space between herself and the horses—and it gave her a sense of security. The horses could not get closer to her than this boundary would allow.
She began taking this with her into sessions and using it when she began to feel taken advantage of. She was not allowed to touch them with it, but the prop kept her feeling safe, and her needs became more consistent and clear. And the more success she had, the more confident she became. The confidence she got from the prop gave her was a catalyst to being assertive and feeling the rewards that come with it. She started coming into session sharing examples of saying “no” to people and standing up for herself. Her life was changing. In session, the horses’ feedback was no longer abrasive or dismissive, instead they seemed to notice her differently and respect her space while also allowing for positive interactions. She knew when to use the prop and when to put it aside and allow them in.
As human facilitators, we interpreted this change in feedback as the horses feeling safe and clear with her increase in confidence and consistency with her communication and boundaries, both physical and emotional. She was finally taking care of herself, and this is the order of things.
In relationships, we need this. We need each other to be clear in our needs and to assert boundaries. Without this, we all know what can happen.
And if you don’t know, then maybe it’s time you had a horse experience.
About the Author
Lauren Richardson, LMFT
Lauren Richardson, LMFT has been a Mental Health Outpatient Care therapist and case manager for Sanctuary Centers since 2011 and founded Sanctuary Centers’ Family Services program in 2015 for which she currently oversees as Program Director. In addition to being a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lauren is an EAGALA Certified Mental Health Professional and Equine Specialist and runs her own private practice.
